Take Luoyang as an example:
Marriage custom
(1) Engagement: Usually, the man asks the matchmaker to introduce the media. After marriage, both men and women can communicate freely and get to know each other for a period of time. After many exchanges between men and women by the matchmaker, the two sides confirmed their marriage and exchanged orders.
(2) Choose an auspicious day: the order of life is also commonly known as the next day, that is, the man proposes the wedding date to the woman. Prepare a gift and send a sticker with a person named birthday on it. After the woman receives the post, it is calculated according to the woman's eight characters. Please ask the Yin and Yang teachers to work out the auspicious day first, and avoid Singles' Day and Dark Day. There are still two days, especially Flower Festival and Laba Festival. After choosing, write the happy event on red paper and give the gift to the woman by the matchmaker. If the woman has no objection, the two sides will start the preparations for marriage, which will be regarded as a formal engagement. The engagement is fixed and cannot be changed.
(3) Preparation for marriage: the man builds a new house, decorates the interior, and the woman buys a dowry. Dowry can be divided into full marriage and half marriage. Married people have four sets of clothes and quilts, which means that the four seasons are prosperous; Half-marriage is two sets, symbolizing couples. Most middle-class families are married, and most farmers are semi-married. Very rich people buy a full dowry, which is extremely luxurious. One or two days before the auspicious day, the man prepared a big gift and sent it to the woman's house, including meat, chicken, goose, clothes and so on.
(4) Wedding: The wedding time, that is, the auspicious day calculated by the Yin and Yang teachers, must be on time, otherwise the family will easily get sick in the future. In the bridal chamber, nave, doors and windows, and tree trunks, the word "Xi" is posted in red, meaning "I am happy". At the wedding, the man prepares a float to meet the bride at the woman's house. Bridesmaids must be unmarried and not pregnant. After the car left, drum music led the way, blowing all the way and setting off firecrackers from time to time. When entering the in-laws' house, the bride should wash her face (there are special nephews or brothers and sisters carrying face washing water) and change her wedding dress. My husband's family hosted a banquet. At this point, the two sides successfully completed the wedding etiquette.
Second, funeral customs.
(1) Although cremation is practiced in rural areas now, there are still some customs in rural areas. The relatives of the deceased will make coffins for the deceased. The shape is big at one end and small at the other. It is customary to buy shroud in odd numbers, ranging from 5 yuan to 7 yuan. Blue, navy blue and gray are all acceptable, and black is forbidden. There are no buttons, only a cloth belt. While the families of the deceased are dying, their relatives are waiting for their "death". After death, burn the paper, move the body to the main room, put it on the bed board or grass bed, face down, covered with yellow paper. The child of the deceased was dressed in hemp Dai Xiao, and the dutiful son was holding a funeral stick wrapped in white paper. Wear straw rope or black gauze, straw sandals or white cloth shoes, cover the coffin and seal it with three big nails.
(2) During the funeral, all relatives and friends mourned and helped the mourner to lift the basin, so that the mourner's head was smashed to the ground for a while, that is, the coffin was broken, firecrackers were set off, drums were played, and the dutiful son's memorial tablet, elegiac couplet and hands were held together to go to the cemetery. The location of the cemetery was decided by Mr. Yin Yang. Before burial, the well must be dug at one time. Set the coffin position, put it in the coffin and seal the soil.
(3) After the burial of the deceased, various commemorative activities will be held. Within three days, relatives will send torches to the grave every night. On the third day, Xiao went to the grave as soon as possible to offer sacrifices, and then took the soil around the grave. From the date of the death of the deceased, every 7 days (that is, "17"), incense and paper are burned before the coffin. During the May 7th period, we went to the grave to burn paper, paper men, horses, houses and household appliances. The dutiful son can't have a haircut and shave, don't wear red and green, and don't go to the wedding reception during the May 7th period (within 100 days in Guangshan and other counties). He was called "Prison Seven" and went to jail for the dead. After the burial, the spirit tablet of the deceased was placed on the altar according to the male left and female right, and a furnace of incense was burned every morning and evening, and dinner was served at noon; Until the anniversary. On the anniversary, incense and paper were burned, and relatives and friends attended the memorial service. The dutiful son has been filial to his parents for 3 years, and the uncles and brothers have lost their relatives 1 year. Men wear white shoes for 3 years and women wear white shoes for 8 months. Within three years, the Spring Festival couplets will not be posted in the first year, only diamond-shaped white paper will be posted, children and grandchildren will not go out to pay New Year greetings, and relatives and friends will not post red couplets for the dead around the fifteenth day of the first month and burn paper to pay New Year greetings; Yellow or blue Spring Festival couplets are posted in the second year, purple or green Spring Festival couplets are posted in the third year, and red Spring Festival couplets can only be posted after 3 years. On the third anniversary, after the grand memorial ceremony, the spirit tablet was burned and the dutiful son took off his mourning clothes and white shoes.