Zhangping’s wedding customs
(1) Marriage
Marriage system
The old-style marriage is purely a marriage of purchase and sale, and its conclusion is all According to the orders of parents and the words of matchmakers. Rich families can have multiple wives. The husband can divorce the woman with a divorce letter. Divorced women are insulted as "born divorced mothers". Widows are generally not allowed to remarry. If an engaged woman encounters the death of her fiancé but has not yet married, she will remain a widow for the rest of her life. After the Revolution of 1911, new trends gradually emerged, but widows who remarried were still discriminated against. In the Guantian area, widows remarry at night, and are humiliated as marrying a "ghost wife." "Bring-in-law". Most married men are discriminated against and are considered "either poor or stupid". The bride's family will bear the wedding expenses, but a deed must be signed to prevent regrets. There are two ways to marry into the family: one is that a man takes a wife and becomes the son of the woman's family, and can inherit the property of the woman's family; the other is that the man does not change his surname and is still referred to as his father-in-law and has no right to inherit property. However, if the boy born to him belongs to the girl's family and takes the mother's surname according to the contract, he has the right to inherit.
In arranged marriages, there are also deformed marriages such as finger-marriage, child-raising, and marriage-swap (sister-in-law-for-sister-in-law). The victims are mainly women.
After the promulgation of the "Marriage Law" formulated by New China, gender equality, marital autonomy and monogamy were implemented, arranged marriages were abolished, bigamy, concubinage and others' interference with widows' freedom of marriage were prohibited, and women were liberated. A man and a woman are legally married if they consent and register their marriage with the government in accordance with the law.
Engagement
Commonly known as "engagement". In the old custom, the man asks a matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman. After the woman's parents agree, she will issue a "Bazi Gengtie" with her daughter's name and birth date and send it to the man's family as a "marriage head". The groom's family places the Geng Tie on the incense table and presses it under a bowl filled with clear water for divination. After three days, if the water is as clear as before and the family is safe, they can ask a fortune teller to give "auspicious lessons for marriage". If there is no "contradiction", the appointment can be negotiated and an auspicious day can be chosen to "promote the appointment". When placing an order, you usually have to pay half of the bride price first, and also give away clothes, candies, tea soup (rock sugar, noodles) and cakes or cakes stamped with the words "Qian" and "Kun". In Yongfu area, there is an additional gift of "Hua Zhi Qian" worth 12 yuan (called "half Tai Sui") or 24 yuan (called "Full Tai Sui"). In the Shuangyang area, it is popular to give "jiu dou" (a wooden dou with chicken, wine and meat in it). The main gift is given to the girl's parents, and the partial bucket is given to the girl's close relatives, plus "four wets (sea food)" and "four dry things (tea, soup, dried fruits)". The woman should give back to her son-in-law two connected towels, shoes and hats, clothing materials, grain seeds, chickens, and some cakes or cakes with the word "gan" stamped on them, with osmanthus branches on them. Close relatives who receive tea soup or partial buckets will each receive a piece of clothing as a gift.
Poor people in Shuangyang area only give one hen, together with the bride price, women's clothing, jewelry, etc., collectively called "chicken order".
After the founding of the People's Republic of China, sending Geng Tie and divination and auspicious lessons were mostly abolished. Nowadays, free love is practiced, and tokens of love are given to each other. Parents are informed of the formal engagement after the two parties reach an agreement.
Marriage
The man will send the "Auspicious Lessons for Marriage" to the girl's family, which lists the designated times for tailoring, laying the bed, opening the face, combing the hair, leaving the court, getting married, and getting married. "Send the day away". The day before the wedding, the groom's family will buy all the food and supplies needed for the wedding banquet (money can be used as a substitute for things in distant places) and the other half of the bride price to the bride's family, which is called "Entry Smile". Shuangyang once again presented a wine bucket and a large feast. In the Guantian area, a big pig's foot is also given to the woman's grandmother. That night, the bride's family holds a wedding banquet; the groom's family arranges the bridal chamber and sets off cannons to invite the aunt to make her bed. The next day, the man picks up his relatives and invites the matchmaker, drum band, sedan bearers, etc. to carry the sedan to the woman's home to pick up the bride. Before going out, the bride takes a bath with sweet-scented osmanthus branches boiled in water, then sits on the grain bucket or mortar in the hall, does her face and makeup, wears a phoenix crown and harem, a skirt and embroidered shoes, lights a candle and bids farewell to her parents, and goes out with the dowry she purchased. All the above items require the man to send red envelopes as a reward. If the girl's family has a claim, she will need to pay another "child fee". The childbirth fee is calculated on an annual basis, which is 12 yuan per year, ranging from one year to three years. In Shuangyang area, before leaving, the bride will eat a whole chicken with her brothers and sisters, which is called "house fire". After the bride goes on the road, she will throw the keys or handkerchiefs that she deliberately took away from her natal family on the road, and let the chasing brothers and sisters pick them up, which is called "taking over the family fire". The wedding team arrives at the groom's house, the sedan is parked outside the gate, and the groom opens the sedan door to take the bride in. When the bride gets out of the sedan chair, she throws the red dates, peanuts, longans, etc. she brought with her on the ground, and lets the little boys grab them to eat, as a sign of "early birth of a baby." Then, the bridesmaids helped them into the main hall to worship. When the bride enters the house, the groom's parents should stay away and avoid hedging to prevent future discord. After the ceremony, the uncle will lead the bride and groom into the bridal chamber by holding candles. At the beginning of the wedding banquet, cannons are fired to invite relatives and friends to sit down with congratulatory gifts. There is also a table in the bridal chamber where the dowry and close relatives will accompany the bride and groom, and the bride and groom will drink from each other. In Guantian and other places, they have banquets with relatives and friends in the hall. When the chicken is served at the banquet, the groom's parents lead the bride and groom in toasting to the guests.
Before the bride and groom go to bed, the elderly women sing congratulations and spread the bedding, and let the little boy roll on the bed. Then, young people from the neighborhood make the bride and groom laugh in various humorous ways, which is called "bridal chamber fun." Young women like to eavesdrop on whispers outside the bridal chamber. The next morning after getting up with the cannons, the bride goes into the kitchen and offers tea to her parents-in-law and uncles to say hello. Those who are respected give red envelopes as a thank you gift. To return home after three days, those who are closer need to make three consecutive trips. The gift-giving is still tea soup, and the return gifts vary from place to place, usually including clothing materials, glutinous rice dumplings, lead chickens, etc. Jingcheng also added two sugarcane branches with roots and leaves. In Guantian, there are rice dumplings for the first time, rice dumplings for the second time, and rice dumplings for the third time without seeing each other off. The Yue family entertained their son-in-law for a banquet when they returned home for the first time, and snacks for the second and third visits. On the full moon, the parents-in-law wait for the son-in-law's house to be a guest and give their daughter wedding utensils and old clothes before marriage.
The son-in-law hosted a banquet to entertain him. The customs for recruiting a son-in-law, consummating a child bride's marriage, and remarrying a widow are simple. If both men and women are Christians, the rituals will be taught according to canonical rules.
After the implementation of the Marriage Law in the early 1950s, new things and new arrangements were once popular, and collective weddings were grand and simple. Old customs such as arranged marriages, polygamy, child brides, and widows not allowed to remarry have been completely abolished. In the early 1960s, due to economic difficulties, some places began to secretly agree on betrothal gifts, but the amount was very small. In the 1980s, people's lives improved. In order to show off their wealth, some wealthy households entertained guests and gave gifts and made extravagant arrangements. Some were very extravagant, entertaining hundreds of tables of drinks and spending tens of thousands of yuan. Most people still advocate simplicity, and there are also those who don't organize drinks. The old customs and etiquette are becoming increasingly simplified, but due to the situation, we still try our best to arrange betrothal gifts, seasonal furniture, etc.