Divorce is a very normal thing now, but there are still only a few people who can get divorced cleanly. Most of them are divorced, but in the end they have to contact and meet due to various reasons, such as children, account passwords, *** and friends, etc. However, the chances of remarriage are still very high. It seems harder to get clean if you have children.
In the middle of last year, Xiaochan and her husband filed for divorce and signed it. The reason for divorce is nothing more than that the husband completely ignores the hard work of the wife at home, taking care of the children and working after work. There is a common belief among men that this is what women should do. There were too many quarrels, everyone was tired, and finally decided to divorce.
I got married in 13 years and already have two children. It had only been a few months since the divorce. Yesterday, I was informed that I had remarried on the last day of 2016. A sentence popped out: I am back in the cage again. She was unhappy in this marriage, but she still went back. Why did everyone wonder about her? She said that she originally went back to see the child, but her mother made her cry and runny nose, saying that the child was pitiful and that without a mother, other people would not be able to take care of her and would get sick easily... and so on. Her father-in-law said that as long as she comes back, she will be equipped with something so that she can live a better life and stay at home with peace of mind. Looking back, my husband said, "Look, if your parents say this, won't you come back?" Xiaochan's sigh can be felt across the screen. She said, since everyone has said this, I really can't be so cruel. Their family is still very good to me, and I still feel sorry for my child. It is fate for two people to get married together. It is right not to give up on each other easily, but if you choose to divorce and want to remarry, you still have to think twice.
The first question to consider is whether the two parties will still have the same conflicts that occurred during the first divorce after remarriage. The second is whether you want to be with this person, or because of some external factors other than this person. After all, you have to understand the truth that what you want to get back is marriage, not the relationship with the other person's family or other relationships. Your relationship with your child will not change just because you are divorced. You will always be your child's biological mother. But if you remarry because of the children, or because the people in his family treat you well, etc., then there is actually no need to remarry. The only person who wants to stay with you is your husband. Apart from that, everything else is subject to change. Your parents will grow old and your children will get married.
You need to determine whether your ex-husband wants to stay with you forever, or the reason why he wants to remarry you is that he just wants to change the current bad situation, and you just happen to be. The best person to handle these terrible situations. Only a marriage that remarries because of love can ensure a smooth future. If there is no motive for remarriage based on this basis, then you may fall into the vortex of divorce and remarriage cycle. The day you get entangled until you collapse.
It is not that divorced marriages have cracks. In some marriages, divorce once can better reflect the preciousness of the other party. I have a friend who always advises people to separate. His point of view is that if two people don't separate for a while, you won't know whether this person is really important to you. Because he is the beneficiary of this separation. He and his wife were classmates in college. It took 7 years from falling in love to getting married, and they were 31 years old when they divorced. In the three years after their marriage, they have been living a life of neither salt nor blandness. There was no quarrel or argument. Suddenly one day, I felt that this was not the love and marriage I wanted, or that the other person was not the person I wanted. In the end, the two discussed divorce. Friends who have regained their freedom are not as comfortable as they imagined.
He wanted to find the kind of love that can stimulate his nerves, but he didn't expect to find any love, or he was afraid when he did. He feels that this consumes a lot of energy. He is still in the same state of life where he is playing games and his wife serves him tea and snacks. This is what he wants most. I really regretted it, both of them regretted it. Just remarried. After the two got together, they are now an ordinary and happy couple.
My friend said that he would never have such an idea again in the future. His current wife is still the most suitable, and any passion is nonsense. He felt that if he hadn't been divorced once, he wouldn't have realized how much he loved his wife. This is a remarriage chosen based on love and the relationship between the two people without any other external conditions. This kind of marriage will only be better if we try it again.
When a man seeks remarriage with you and talks a lot about how important you are to this family and how they cannot live without you, I think this should be done with caution. It's important to figure out whether he can't live without you or whether his family can't live without you. In addition, there is another thing that a man should be cautious about when he remarries, that is, it is his family members who ask you to remarry, and in the end it is him
In a man's subconscious mind, he will be cautious about the person he really likes. If you can't help but not to see her and not come to you, that means you can't help it. This is a matter between the two of you. If someone else comes to persuade you to remarry, then should you live with the person who advised you to remarry, or with him.
Be cautious when divorcing, and even more cautious when remarrying. Marriage is not like love. Marriage involves paying legal responsibilities to the other party. Now that you are divorced, when you remarry, you must think clearly about why you were divorced in the first place, and whether you can let go of that matter and turn the page.
It is easy for people to mistake "what they need" for "what they like". And you know whether a person really has you in his heart, unless you are willing to deceive yourself.
The book "Being Friends with Time" says: Many people actually don't know that their so-called "like doing something" is probably because that thing is relatively simple and easy to get rewards. .
Whether you are a man or a woman, it is easy to fall into this problem. A man likes a woman very much because she can take care of him well, take care of his family well, and take care of his relatives. The relationship is well managed. Such a wife makes him worry-free, so he likes her very much. This woman is what the book says "likes to do something." A good marriage must be done with care. Since going through a divorce has not made you wiser in this place, then you can only stay here again next time.
Having a divorce experience should make you clearer about what you want. If you think about your children when you get remarried, then what made you give up your children when you got divorced? Woolen cloth. In fact, these are just excuses you make for yourself. The more external factors account for your remarriage, the more fragile your marriage will be in the future. If the remarriage is not for the purpose of two people being together in the future, you should think more about such a marriage when remarrying. Have you resolved the conflicts of the last divorce? If not, it is just because you are reluctant or unable to let go, or you are remarrying again for other reasons. Such a marriage will only become more unstable. Marrying once may be a mistake in your choice. It doesn't count and it doesn't mean anything. But getting divorced twice by the same person is your problem, and it may be a bit bigger.
Whether you are getting married or remarried, you need to think twice before taking responsibility for yourself or others.