Kindergarten No. 1
Question 1: If one day there is no water in the sea, what will the fish do?
Child A: Let the fish go into the river. (Think for a moment, then continue) Oh, no, what about the whale? It's too big to get in. (So ??considerate)
Child B: Change the stone. (The fish vomited blood crazily...)
Question 2: Where does milk come from?
Child A: There are several mouths under the belly of the cow, and the water flows out from there. (Are you really sure that’s the mouth?)
Continue to ask: Where did the coconut milk come from?
Child B: Coconut milk is goat milk. (It’s too far, brother)
Continue to ask: What is goat milk?
Child B: Goat milk is just yogurt. We don’t drink it at home. Our family orders Guangming Milk. (What a terrible logic)
Question 3: What is the child’s face used for?
Child A: Kiss my mother.
Follow-up question: Do you want to kiss your father?
Child A: Kiss daddy.
Continue to ask: Who did you kiss on the face?
Child A: Kiss my mother. (Dad burst into tears)
Child B: For sticker heads. (Is your face a bulletin board?)
Question 4: Why do children come out of the mother’s belly and not the father’s?
Child A: Girls come out of their mother’s belly, and boys come out of their father’s belly. (Really good at deceiving people)
Little boy B: Because boys are cute! (The little girls shouted together: Boys are not cute!)
Question 5: What is the use of children’s hair?
Little girl A: Used to comb her hair.
Ask little boy B: Then your hair can’t be braided, what’s the use?
Child B: Used for shaving hair at the barber shop. (Valuable dedication)
Kindergarten No. 2
Question 1: Why do people only have two legs?
Child A: Because we are not animals. (Does a duck have four legs?)
Child B: Humans cannot grow four legs. (This is God’s arrangement, the biggest one)
Child C: (laughing to himself) There will be a fight if we have four legs.
Follow-up question: But dogs can run very fast with four legs?
Child C: (in a daze)... (all the children shouted: I can run faster than a dog!)
Question 2: How can a fat person lose weight immediately?
Child A: Eat diet biscuits. (Quite smart)
Follow-up question: If you can’t lose weight immediately by eating diet biscuits, how can you lose weight instantly?
Child A: Then don’t eat diet cookies. (Are you kidding me?)
Question 3: How can I make a thin person gain weight immediately?
Child A: Drink milk. (Milk is not pig feed)
Child B: If you eat a lot of food, you can become a police officer. (Are all police officers fat?)
Question 4: Why do balloons fly into the sky?
Child A: Because it has energy. (Can a balloon be called a balloon if it is out of air?)
Following question: Then why can’t some balloons fly into the sky?
Child A: Because there is too little air inside. (Really good at talking nonsense)
Kindergarten No. 3
Question 1: What animal has two legs and wakes you up when the sun rises in the morning?
Child A: Chicken, rooster. (Another child shouted: Father Chicken)
I was curious and asked: What is Father Chicken?
Children: The hen is called a hen, and the rooster is called a hen. (Sudden realization...)
Child B: Mom.
Child C: The sun. (Sweat...the sun is an animal)
Continue to ask: Does the sun have legs?
Child C: The sun has five legs.
(Another child retorted: seven, the rainbow has seven colors)
Question 2: What is chattering?
Child A: There are seven mouths and eight tongues, and the speech is very messy. (It makes sense) and added: We are talking all over the place now. (Still self-aware)
Child B: Make many tongues. (So ??scary...)
Question 3: How to distinguish between men and women?
Child A: Look at the hair. The one with long hair is a girl, and the one with short hair is a boy. (A girl with short hair next to her burst into tears...)
Child B: Peeping at him (her) urinating, the one standing is a boy and the one squatting is a girl. (You are so horny at this age...)
Child C: Look at what kind of socks he or she is wearing. The red ones are for girls and the blue ones are for boys. (So ??innocent...)
Child D: Look at the eyes. (So ??erratic...)
Question 4: What will happen if you throw a stone into the fish pond?
Child A: Water will turn into waves. (...)
Child B: The fish will float up. (The fishermen are very happy...)
Child C: The fine is five yuan. (Sweat...) Kindergarten No. 4
Question 1: Why is Tangshan called Tangshan?
Child A: Because it is a soup-drinking mountain. (It’s really meaningless...)
Child B: Tangshan is a hot spring, a place for bathing. (The answer is not what the question was asked...)
Child C: It’s very hot down there, so I call it Tangshan. (Khan...it turns out to be Tangshan...)
Child D: Who is Tangshan? (...)
Question 2: An old man lost a horse. Do you think the horse will come back?
Child A: No, because the horse is playing on the road. (A playful horse...)
Child B: No, horses can’t see growth rings. (I’ve never seen a horse look at its growth rings while walking...)
Child C: No, the horse went to marry another horse. (What a romantic child...)
Child D: No, the old man was not good to the horse, and the horse went to find a new owner. (The reality is cruel, Ma also needs to change jobs...)
Question 3: Why does the aunt who distributes medicine in the hospital wear a mask?
Child A: Because the director is afraid that they will eat it secretly. (Is the medicine delicious?)
A child immediately rushed to say: Are those uncles holding scalpels wearing masks afraid of them having dinner together? (Dizzy...)
Child B: Because I have to pay attention to hygiene and I am afraid that saliva will flow down. (Wearing a mask turns out to prevent drool...)
Kindergarten No. 5
Question 1: What is the difference between Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola?
Child A: The names are different. (Even Martians know this)
Child B: Coca-Cola cans are red and Pepsi-Cola cans are blue. (I know you are not color blind, be good)
Child C: Pepsi has Jay Chou, and Coca-Cola has vanilla (flavor).
Child D: Coca-Cola is sour and will make your nose steamy after drinking it! (If it's steaming, it means it's a can of dedicated Coke)
Question 2: Why does the subway run underground?
Child A: Because the subway has the word "地" in it, it has to run underground. (I guessed that someone would answer this way)
Child B: The subway has no wheels and cannot run on the ground. (Are there wheels? No? Are there any?)
Question 3: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Child A: The egg comes first.
Question: If there are no chickens, where would the eggs come from?
Child A:...
Child B: First there is the hen, and then the eggs are laid.
Child C: There are 30 eggs in one egg!
Surprised: What? 30 eggs, right?
Child C: Because there are two old hens, each laid 15 eggs, so there are 30! (Children, you are so awesome)
Question 4: What holiday is April 1st?
Child A: Mother’s Day.
Child B: Women’s Day.
Reminder: Women’s Day is March 8th.
Child B: That’s Arbor Day!
I couldn’t help it: When is April Fool’s Day?
Child C: It’s January 8th! (This...)
Child D: I know, April 1st is Uncle Driver’s Day! (How did you come up with it, I’m curious)
Question 5: How can I become beautiful?
Child A: Sticking cucumbers, my mother sticks them at home every day.
Child B: My aunt always posts papayas.
Child C: Paste eggs! (It’s really difficult)
Child D: My mother-in-law pasted potatoes for me.
Little boy E: I have applied mango skin! (That’s what you were messing around with, right?)
Summary: Each one is more amazing than the other, and DIY is really popular.
Kindergarten No. 6
Question 1: Who is the most beautiful person you have ever seen?
Child A: Zhao Wei!
Child B: Jolin Tsai!
Child C: I like He Jie! (A group of children booed: Super girl, super girl!)
The tough kid D appeared at this time, like reciting a jingle: Super girls also include Li Yuchun, Zhou Bichang, Zhang Liangying, Huang Yali... (many of the last ones) The names of those who did not enter the finals also appeared one by one, and the reporter was stunned)
Child E: It’s Fan Xiaoyu from our class! (A little girl named Fan Xiaoyu rushed out and punched him)
Child F: Jay Chou is the prettiest!
Question: Jay Chou is a man, how can he look good?
Child F: Then he is the most handsome!
Question 2: Chickens and ducks both have wings, why can’t they fly in the sky like birds?
Child A: Because chickens and ducks are too heavy, they have eggs in their stomachs.
Child B: Yes, yes! If they fly into the sky, the eggs in their stomachs will fall to the ground!
Child C: The bones of birds are hollow, so they can fly. (What a correct answer, unexpected)
Q: Who told you?
Child C: Mom said it. (This mother needs to be praised)
Question 3: How can we make poor people rich immediately?
Child A: Drive a Mazda. (So ??unique to Nanjing)
Child B: Open a supermarket. (I also want to open a supermarket, so I can get whatever I want)
Child C: Work.
Q: Do you know what part-time work is?
Child C: Just do things for others and then get money. (This idea looks beautiful)
Child D: Driving a public car.
Question: Why can you make money by driving a public car? (Could it be...)
Child D: There is a box at the door of the bus. Everyone has to throw money into it when they get on the bus. It is full of money. (Sure enough!)
Child E: The money inside can be exchanged for one hundred and one hundred, and you will be rich.
1. The father told his daughter about how she often suffered from hunger when she was a child. After listening, the daughter had tears in her eyes and said with great sympathy: "Oh, Dad, you came to our house because you had no food to eat. ”
2. Tongtong asked his mother: “Why do you call Mr. Jiang ‘ancestor’?” Mom said: “Because ‘ancestor’ is a name for the dead.
"
Tongtong said: "Should the deceased grandmothers be called 'Fresh Milk'? ”
3. Mom often tells Xiaomei: “Don’t swing on the swing when wearing a skirt, otherwise, the little boy will see the underwear underneath!” "One day, Xiaomei happily said to her mother: "Mom, Xiao Ming and I competed on the swing today, and I won! "My mother said angrily: "Didn't I tell you? Don’t swing while wearing a skirt! Xiaomei said proudly: "But I am so smart!" I took off my panties so he couldn't see my panties! ”
4. One day, Xiao Ming went out to play with his father. When it was time to eat, his father led him to the door of a small restaurant. Xiao Ming refused to go in. His father asked him why, and Xiao Ming pointed to the front of the restaurant. The sign said: "I don't want to eat pee fried rice..." It turned out that the sign said:
Piss
Fried rice
5. There was a little boy , one day after school, he asked his [no swearing] mother: “Mom, where did I come from? "The mother felt that this question was difficult to answer, but she should take this opportunity to educate her children. She took cats and dogs as examples and talked about the process of reproduction in a serious manner. After listening to this, the son said in confusion: "How could this happen? My deskmate said he was from Shanxi! ”
6. Xiao Ming went to his grandma’s birthday party. When it was time to eat birthday buns, Xiao Ming asked: “Why do we eat birthday buns that look like butts?” "Everyone's expressions changed greatly after hearing this. Then Xiao Ming opened the birthday bag, looked at the bean paste inside, and said, "Grandma, look! There’s still poop in there! "Everyone was so dizzy that they vomited.
7. On weekend morning, my husband was still lying on the quilt, but his friend Tony had already come to visit. I quickly said to my three-year-old daughter, "Hurry, hurry. Go call Dad. "My daughter looked at me, hesitated for a while, walked to Tony, and timidly called out: "Dad"...
8. At night, three-year-old Elke was already lying on the bed. He Ask your mother, "Mom, give me an apple!" "It's too late, kid. Apple has gone to bed." "No, the younger one may have fallen asleep, but the older one definitely hasn't!" "
9. On the street, a little girl walked up to an uncle in police uniform. She looked up and down and asked carefully: "Are you a police officer? ? ”
“Yes. "
"Mom said that no matter what difficulties you encounter, if you ask the police, you will get help, right? "
"Yes! "
"Okay," the little girl raised one foot, "please help me tie my shoelaces." "
10. An old guerrilla was telling children battle stories. He suddenly asked a 12-year-old boy: "If you were the commander of the guerrillas, in order to prevent the enemy from using the railway, What action should the guerrillas take? The boy stood up and replied loudly: "We must occupy the ticket office quickly and burn all the tickets!" ”
11. The mother said to her five-year-old son: “Dad said that he was going to entertain a Yugoslav woman who had business dealings at home tonight. "
In the evening, when his father and the guest entered the house, the child ran into the kitchen and whispered to his mother: "Mom! Come and see, that lady is a man! ”
12. “Students, who is the king of beasts?” "The teacher asked.
"Zoo director. "Little John replied.
13. "Mom, you don't love me. ”
“Silly boy, if your mother doesn’t love you, who will you love?” Love you both moms. ”
“Then why did you give birth to an older brother for your younger brother but not me?” ”
14. One time, my mother took Xiaogang to the street. Xiaogang saw a man buying a hot dog. Since the word “hot dog” is written upside down, that is, it is read from right to left, so Xiaogang said, "Mom, I want to eat hot dogs." With one sentence, the hot dog seller almost dropped the bottle of oil in his hand and laughed so hard that he couldn't stand up straight.
15. One time, my father took Xiaogang to play on the street. After Xiaogang saw the name of a snack shop, he asked: Dad, why is this snack called "Children's Eater"? , can children eat it? When his father took a look, it turned out that the name of the snack bar was "Youpeng Snacks", and it was written upside down. Hahaha...