First, the first stage-blind date.
Although free love is advocated nowadays and young men and women are more open, in Nan 'an, most people still choose the road of "blind date", at which time the matchmaker plays an important role. Generally, blind date is divided into two stages: 1. First, ask the matchmaker to "snoop" around to see who has a woman (man) at the age of marriage. Once the "target" appears, the trustee will take a peek first. This step is called "first glance", which means "take a look". Some also choose the location of "first glimpse" in the matchmaker's house. 2. If the "first glimpse" feels good, ask the matchmaker to arrange a formal meeting between the men and women, usually at the woman's house, when both men and women will "send a large team to participate". Of course, some people skip the "first glance" stage and go straight to the theme of "blind date".
second, the development stage-exploring the family style.
If the blind date is successful, then the woman will go to the man's house to explore the family. On that day, the "friends and relatives group" composed of the woman's parents, uncles and aunts went to the man's house under the guidance of the matchmaker, which meant to see the man's address and basic family situation. After returning home, they listened to each other's opinions, and some of them asked their friends or relatives to ask about their background and the situation of young people.
third, the confirmation stage-talk about the money for engagement, shirts and pants (that is, clothes) and red envelopes.
If the woman feels good after exploring the family style, the matchmaker will once again play an important role-talking about the engagement money and the money for shirts and trousers. At this time, things are almost the same. It is easier to say at this stage. As long as the woman's request is not too much, the man will generally accept it. Of course, there are also some bargaining (how is it a bit like doing business? ）。 In Guanqiao, the employment fee is generally around 66,888 yuan, while the money for shirts and trousers is generally around 22, yuan, which means auspiciousness. Of course, this includes the money for buying gold for girls. The engagement money and the money for shirts and trousers have been settled. Next, the man will choose a day to give a red envelope to the woman's family, that is, to give some money to the woman's parents first, which is called "tying three belts" in the local dialect. Girls have to take out a small part of it to buy a new dress for their parents, brothers and sisters.
fourth, consolidation stage-find a date and send it to the sun.
After the "Tie the Three Belts", the man should prepare to find a wedding day according to the birthdates of both men and women, and after determining which day, he will send the red sticker with the "wedding day" and a small basket of candy cakes to the woman's house. This step is "sending the sun". After the woman knows the date, she has to prepare the dowry intensively, while the man is busy preparing for inviting people and banquets.
fifth, the wedding stage-take the plate and hold the wedding ceremony.
The man needs to do an important thing the day before his wedding-take the plate. What is the burden? That is, the man prepares some necessities, such as pig's feet, gifts and so on, and takes them to the woman's house. The woman can't accept all of them, but only a part of them, and then adds some sesame seeds and grains for the person who carries them back. Because they were all picked by manpower before, they are called "carrying plates", and the matchmaker will go with them on the day of carrying plates. The man has to ask someone to make his bed the night before his wedding, which is also very particular. The orientation of the bed should be set according to the groom's birthdates, and the four corners of the foot of the bed should be padded with "golden paper". At the same time, the groom has to ask a boy (preferably a dragon, more auspicious) to sleep with him that night.
the exciting day has finally arrived. Marriage means adulthood, and various folk adult ceremonies are essential. On the morning of the wedding day, parents of both men and women should choose Kyrgyzstan as the bride and groom's "head", also known as "head". This ceremony is to comb from head to bottom for three times: one comb to the head (meaning to grow old together), two combs to Qi Mei (respect each other as guests), and three combs to house children and grandchildren. In the past, the woman had to ask someone to "clean the hair on her face" before going out, and the dialect called "Man Min". Now this ceremony is mostly just for show. Before going out, the bride will "still hiding half her face from us behind her guitar" under the covers, and she will have to say goodbye to her parents in tears until "yet we called and urged a thousand times before she started toward us". Even if you are full of joy, you should squeeze out a few tears-to show your reluctance to your parents and gratitude for their parenting, or you will be laughed at by others. The bride's mother and sister-in-law also need to see her off in tears, commonly known as "crying fate". Before going out, the bride's brother should help the bride open the red umbrella (replace the red veil with a red umbrella). When going out, the bride needs to cross a rice screen with a incense burner on it, which is said to ward off evil spirits. The bride's uncle has to help her "carry the flowers". The groom has to come and take the bride to the car. When she arrives at the groom's home, the two newlyweds also have to cross the same rice sieve stove to get rid of evil spirits. When she arrives at the groom's home, the bride also needs to hold a red umbrella until she "enters the room". The time when the bride and groom "enter the house" is also particular, and the groom's family members need to avoid (can't watch) when they "enter the house". Then the ceremony of the newlyweds is completed, and then the wedding banquet officially begins.
The wedding banquet is always very rich. The old wedding banquet required 24 dishes. Although it has been reformed, there are some dishes that have inherent meanings that cannot be changed. For example, when the whole chicken comes out, it means that the banquet is in the middle; The last course is a sweet soup, which means sweet. Halfway through the wedding reception, the bride and groom will come out to propose a toast (or invite tea) to thank their relatives and friends. The seating arrangement of the banquet is also very particular. The seats are divided into primary and secondary according to the left and right black dragon * * of the house. The main relatives such as the groom's uncle are often seated on the chairman's chair, and the big uncle is seated in the theme. In contrast, the second seat is the new uncle, which is called "the old position of the country".
After the wedding banquet, the bride, accompanied by the groom, will also offer "black sugar tea" to her parents and immediate family members. Tea worship should be carried out one by one in the order of young and old. The bride should also prepare gifts for her father-in-law and mother-in-law, and call her parents for the first time. Others should also be called under the guidance of the groom. In the evening, before the husband and wife share the same room, they will also drink "Albizia Albizia Tea" with red dates, peanuts, longan, longan, etc., which means "having a baby early jumps over the dragon gate". In some places, there are also programs such as "making trouble in the bridal chamber" and "recognizing relatives and friends" in the evening, and everyone will have a good time.
sixth, the end stage-go back to your mother's house, ask your son-in-law, and ask your in-laws.
On the second day after the wedding, the bride will go back to her parents' home for the first time, and her parents will invite her son-in-law. At that time, the people who will attend are: the groom and the best man, the bride and an unmarried girl (in some places, an unmarried boy) and her relatives. The man should also bring enough cigarettes and money for that day, because the cigarettes and money for the guests on that day should be paid by the man. After the banquet, the groom and the best man should go home first, while the bride has to wait until the little girl who picks sugar cane (taking "sugar cane" as sweet and dense) returns to her husband's house, meaning "getting started, giving birth to a baby" (getting started can give birth to a boy when it gets dark). When the bride returns to her husband's house, the groom's family still needs to avoid (can't watch).
On the third day after the wedding, the man will be ready to invite his in-laws. The dialect is called "Taiwanese in-laws". On this day, the number of participants is relatively small, namely: the man's parents and their immediate family members, the woman's father, and two or three peers accompanying the woman's father, but the woman's mother can't attend on this day.
About five days after the wedding, the woman needs to go back to her parents' home. On that day, the woman's brother needs to come to the man's house to take the bride home.