1 Dianchou Township, Tang Bohu
My wife, I live near Suzhou. There is a house and a field at home, and it is endless.
Who knows Tang Bohu? He is ruthless, colluding with the government, breaking the law and occupying my big house and my land.
My grandfather turned against him and was beaten by him with a stick;
My grandmother called him a bully, but he caught him in the Tang family and raped him a hundred times.
He also kicked my father and son out of the house and drifted to the river.
In order to support my father, I had to beg alone in front of the temple.
Who knows that Tang Bohu? He is so insidious. Knowing this situation, he sent someone to plot against him.
Beat my father and son on the head of the city. The little man was strong and survived.
Poor old father, he is dead, and this hatred is even harder to fill!
In order to bury my father, I had to sell myself as a slave, bitch.
While making money diligently, while reading articles, he vowed to show his fame and fortune, and his enemy was determined.
Since then, Tang Yin's poems have been with me, and I remember this unforgettable hatred!
2 ever-changing king kong
Professor: Now that you have become a 72-year-old Superman, you can maintain world peace.
A Xing: What did you say?
Professor: It can maintain world peace! (Louder)
A Xing: Of course. What?
Professor: It can maintain world peace! (louder)
A Xing: Oh … (stands up)
Professor: Where are you going?
A Xing: Destroy the invaders of the five planets in the Milky Way!
3 Journey to the West
People and demons are born of mothers.
People are people, damn it.
The devil is the devil, damn it
If the devil has a kind heart,
It's not called the devil.
Call the shemale
4 gambler
My Filipino maid passed by the market yesterday.
I heard a fishmonger said there was a boy named gambler ... you. ...
hahaha. I was startled on the spot. I'm kidding.
Are there people who call themselves gamblers in this world? This is obviously for me.
I am a gambler!
I don't care if you wear contact lenses when you gamble.
I can read cards directly. It's called psychic ability.
Here is a trump card, as long as I press it gently. ......
It immediately turned into a wrinkled face,
Because I haven't tried! I can become mahjong if I work hard!
Are you saying I'm crazy? I also said that you are the falling wing in the room!
what are you reading? If you are not convinced, make a phone call and we will study it.
Of course, if you pay me more than one million yuan, I won't say anything.
Aim at me! You think you don't need money!
Write down my phone number. It's Hong Kong 3345678.
I repeat, it's Hong Kong 3345678,
I don't care if you don't call me, because it will be your loss.
/kloc-Don't call after 0/0, because I fell asleep!
Five pranksters
Jing: Who's here?
Dad: So is your dad.
Jing: My father is a buffalo and my mother is a gourd.
If you make a mistake, I'll settle accounts with you!
Dad: Your father is me, and your mother is tens of thousands.
If you dare to admit it at random, I will kick you out of the house!
Jay: I almost cut off my head when I came into the room to meet my brother.
Jing: My father and I are playing a big play, and now it's on the rise.
Big brother had better change clothes and play sex with us.
Jay: Wait a minute!
Good boy, good boy, playing games in the restaurant today,
Lele's friend is angry. She says you stink.
Please listen to your brother and re-establish a good relationship.
Jing: Hey ~ ~ Ah ~ ~ Is this serious?
Jay: Really!
Jing: Really?
Jay: Sure enough!
Jing: Hey ~ ~ Ah ~ ~ This teaches me what to do.
Jay: OK! Tomorrow is her birthday, so buy a present and deliver it to your door.
Say sorry, let her punish and let her deal with it.
Jing: Brother, you have gone too far. You only bully your own family.
Jay: You, you, you, you, you! …
Dad: For your sister-in-law's sake, you should bow your head in everything.
Crystal: No, no, no!
Dad: Bah! Go, go, go.
Jing: Hey ~ ~ Ah ~ ~ You make me dizzy ~ ~
(Dad and Jay are holding spears and big knives and crystals.)
Jing: Wait a minute! I have an appointment to play ball tomorrow,
Can we go after the game?
Dad+Jie: Hey ~ ~ Yes ~ ~ Look at his childish talk, you'd better give him a ruler.
Measure his talent and wisdom, whether he is stupid or an idiot or an idiot
* Cream guillotine
The cream guillotine, just touching it will turn your face into cream,
It is one of the fiercest attack weapons of moving bully!
* Remote control of the current banana
Remote control current banana, when you press the switch, it will discharge and make him show off.
It is quite a mainstream trick weapon!
* Honest bean paste buns
Honest bean paste bag, what you say within 30 seconds after eating is honest,
This is the product of new technology in the 1990s!
* Shame lollipop
Shame lollipop, after eating it, you will feel very ashamed of what you did before you died.
It is the best weapon to move people!
6 Chengxin bean paste steamed stuffed bun
Touching bully: honest bean paste bag! (Stuffed into hu zheng's mouth)
Bian Bai: Honest bean paste buns, what you say within 30 seconds after eating will be honest. ※,
& amp！ Nbsp, this is the product of new technology in the 1990s!
Hu zheng: My name is hu zheng. I came out to shine shoes at the age of 6 to supplement my family. When I was 8 years old, I sold blood to save my mother.
10 won the first place in the college entrance examination, and 15 won the top ten outstanding youth awards.
I feel tall and handsome, and Ye Zimei is a good wife and mother.
Two hundred dollars is the cleverest, Gorbachev has the longest hair, and President Saddam Hussein hates war the least. ......
The best trick: I took it wrong, it's a deceptive bean paste bag!
Hu Zhen: (Awakening) Asshole! ..... shame lollipop! (Stuffed into the mouth of the bully)
Bian Bai: Shame lollipop. After eating it, you will feel very ashamed of what you did before you died. ※,
It is the best weapon to move people!
Master of pranks: Woo ... I was wrong! I'm ashamed! Stealing a bath at the age of 9,/kloc-touching tea at the age of 0/2.
/kloc-made himself sick at the age of 0/3,/kloc-sold his mother to the Philippines at the age of 0/5! Robin is a servant.
I have never done anything good in my life, and I am gay. ...
Hu zheng: Really? (Pushing away the bully)
The bully of mischief: I'm really ashamed!
Hu Zhen: Then you were born in the world and wasted your life. You might as well die!
The best trick: Yes, I'm waiting to die!
Hu zheng: Come on … I'll help you, I'll help you.
(takes out a fruit knife) Come on, cut, cut!
I will work hard and make progress.
I will try my best to make progress and live up to your expectations.
I want to work hard and make my friends happy.
Young people should work hard, don't be sad and don't be desolate.
In a word, but with my strength, I must first strengthen my ambition.
If I am frustrated again, I will try hard but rely on my own strength.
My heart is full of sadness and I will be elated every day.
Good friends, long feelings,
Good friends encourage each other, and their friendship is unforgettable. Good friends are senior one in thousands of feet.
Good friends relieved me of my troubles and worries, relieved me of my melancholy and worry-free.
8 dongfang
Che Wenjie: What is a bridal chamber?
Che Wenjing: This is a question about physiology.
First of all, both men and women are very excited.
After a while? After E is released, the man will let one of him go. ......
Onlooker: Which one?
Che Wenjing: Let go of that waistband!
then what He will take the bride's piece again. .......
Onlooker: What's that piece?
Che Wenjing: That red skull is open!
And then they just- .......
Onlooker: What's the matter?
Che Wenjing: ... I started to enter the bridal chamber!
Onlooker: What nonsense! (hissing)
9 gold medal killer
Dafu: Now all Shanghai is a triad society!
Mr. Ding is a gangster, you are a gangster, and I am a gangster.
A Xing: You are not a gangster!
Dafu: I'm a gangster!
A Xing: You are a sissy. A sissy is not a triad.
(turns away)
Dafu: Come back ~ ~ I'll tell you!
I hate being called a sissy in my life!
A Xing: You are a sissy!
Dafu: I am a gangster ~ ~
A Xing: You are a sissy underworld.
Dafu: No! I'm a triad gold medal killer!
A Xing: (to Li Ding) Look how coquettish he is!
Dafu:? ㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛㄛ ~ I'm a gangster, and I'm a gold medal killer ~ ~
A Xing: All right! You are a gold medal killer,
And a sissy gold medal killer!
Dafu: No ~ ~ I'm not. ...
10
Dangdang Dangdang Dangdang ~
You-you-! Can accompany me to the west longitude;
You-you-! Can kill demons and get rid of them;
Only you can protect me so that crabs and mussels can't eat me;
Your greatest skill is only yourself-!
Supreme treasure: hey ...
Tang Priest: An Liyou! Don't blame the host for whispering;
Wear a golden hoop, not afraid of death or trembling;
I'll take the fall, you go to hell and do your best for all beings!
It's worth the sacrifice, Amitabha!
Supreme treasure: I really can't I tell you. ...
Tang Priest: Go-go-!
Supreme treasure: Fuck you! Is that all you got to say (Punching down the Tang Priest) I already told you, I can't do it.
You still want to go-go-! Open-open-! I can't stand ignoring me completely, and I'll stab you to death again!
1 1 Good folding stool!
Folding stool's secret lies in that it can be hidden in houses for easy access, and it can also sit on it to hide evil.
Even if you are caught by the police, you can't be prosecuted. It is really the first of the seven weapons!
12 failed (scattered version)
There is no cold water on the alkaline surface, so the surface is all alkaline water;
Fish balls also have no fishy smell, but if you want to make curry fish balls, add curry juice to cover it up.
But it's naive to do so! Because you haven't cooked enough time,
The taste of curry only stays on the surface, not in it at all, and it is completely diluted when soaked in soup.
A good curry fish balls will make you taste neither fish nor curry. Defeat
Radish didn't pick too many tendons, failed!
The pigskin was so badly cooked that it didn't bite the head. Defeat
Pig blood is rotten and scattered, and failure in failure!
The worst thing is the large intestine, which is not cleaned at all, and there is shit in it. Are you kidding?
Failure (Tang Niu Edition)
13
I'll try your chop suey noodles:
Curry fish balls doesn't taste like fish or curry. Defeat
The pigskin was so badly cooked that I didn't even chew my head. Defeat
Pig Korean pine fell off in one clip, failure!
Never pick carrots, too much muscle, failure!
The most outrageous thing is the large intestine, which is not cleaned at all, and there is a lump of shit. Are you kidding?
14
Now, while I still have a little time, I'd like to introduce the newly launched Tang Dynasty to you.
"An unforgettable first love? Gold and silver couple package "
Confucius and Jesus both said: "First love is infinitely beautiful"!
So I specially chose this theme, plus noble materials,
Each set meal is only 99.99 yuan, less than 100 yuan.
I'll give you another stamp with the meal, as long as you collect five stamps, plus 99.99 yuan.
You can change it into an unforgettable bone necklace pendant,
This pendant has a wonderful effect on the love of young people because it has been enlightened by my god of food!
(It's even more powerful to use it with Indian divine oil! )
15
Princess Wei: Barbecued pork is delicious! ! I've never eaten such delicious barbecued pork. Help me ~ ~ ~
The gravy of barbecued pork is contained in the fiber, like rivers gathering,
Moreover, the tendon inside was broken by internal force and the entrance was extremely loose.
With fried sugar-heart poached eggs in Huoyun brown,
Wow! This barbecued pork is great! There are no adjectives in the world to describe!
Why? Why? Why?
Why did I eat such a delicious bowl of barbecued pork? What if I can't eat it in the future? !
(dizzy ...)
ㄟ? What's going on here? How can I cry? There is a sense of sadness. ......
Steven: It's onions. I added onions.
16
Iron sand palm, originated from the iron palm gang in Surabaya, is extremely powerful. Anyone hit by it will die on the way to the hospital.
Three days of practice, 600 yuan! The iron cloth shirt originated from Shaolin, kilometers north of Fujian Province and 30 nautical miles south of Shanwei.
After practice, the whole body is as hard as iron, invulnerable to bullets and fire and water. I practiced for five days and spent 800 yuan! The guillotine originated in the late Ming and early Qing dynasties.
Hidden weapons, the unique assassin in Ouchi, was a piece of cake, so he replaced it with this yo-yo because it was too lethal.
Seven days of practice, charging 1000! The electro-optical dragon drill, which originated in Longhumen, Wang Xiaohu, was originally an illusion.
However, after my improvement, it has become a must-kill leg method, and it costs 1500 yuan! Five lightning knights V3,
I've killed countless monsters and tyrannical dinosaurs that invaded the earth, and I've been crazy about many teenagers in the 1970s, but I can tell you-that's not true!
There is no such martial arts in the world. Just to make a movie. I won't say you don't know.